Humor: Nobody knows you are a dog
On the lighter side of life, a collection of humorous items we thought you might find amusing.
On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.
~Peter Steiner
To his dog, every man is Napoleon; hence the constant popularity of dogs.
~ Aldous Huxley
Did you ever notice when you blow in a dog's face he gets mad at you? But when you take him in a car he sticks his head out the window!
~ Steve Bluestone
Life is like a dogsled team. If you ain't the lead dog, the scenery never changes.
~ Lewis Grizzard
They say the dog is man's best friend. I don't believe that. How many of your friends have you neutered?
~ Larry Reeb
I went to an exclusive kennel club. It was very exclusive.
There was a sign out front: "No Dogs Allowed."
~ Phil Foster
If a dog's prayers were answered, bones would rain from the sky.
~ Old Proverb
He that lieth down with dogs, shall rise up with fleas.
~ Ben Franklin
When a dog wags her tail and barks at the same time, how do you know which end to believe?
~ Anonymous
Properly trained, a man can be dog's best friend.
~ Corey Ford, American writer
Acquiring a dog may be the only opportunity a human ever has to choose a relative.
~ Mordecai Siegal, Contemporary Writer
In order to keep a true perspective of one's importance, everyone should have a dog that will worship him, and a cat that will ignore him. ~Dereke Bruce
Q: Why did the poor dog chase his own tail?
A: He was trying to make both ends meet!
Q: Why do dogs bury bones in the ground?
A: Because you can't bury them in trees!
Q: What do you get if you cross a sheepdog with a rose?
A: A collie-flower!
Q: Why do dogs wag their tails?
A: "Because no one else will do it for them!"
(If you own a boston it would be "What tail?)
Q: Why didn't the dog speak to his foot?
A: Because it's not polite to talk back to your paw!
If you want the best seat in the house, move the dog.
Cat's motto: No matter what you've done wrong, always try to make it look like the dog did it.
Dogs and cats instinctively know the exact moment their owners will wake up. Then they wake them 10 minutes sooner.
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
~Charles M. Schulz Snoopy, Peanuts.
Never stand between a dog and the hydrant.
~ John Peers
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then giving Fido only two of them.
Anybody who doesn't know what soap tastes like never washed a dog.
The nose of the bulldog has been slanted backwards so that he can breathe without letting go.
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- Written by Donna
